Whenever I heard the word “goal,” I felt stifled. It seemed as though I had to run full speed every day, and I felt as if someone were chasing me from the very beginning. By gripping tightly and pushing myself so hard, I could accomplish what I had planned for a few days. But continuing to run was an entirely different matter. I had used so much energy at the start that I lacked the strength to endure over the long term. In the end, I became someone who stumbled again and again. For a long time, I lived resenting both the version of myself striving toward my goals and the version that gave up so quickly.

Perfectionism made the race even more difficult. Whenever I strayed even slightly from my plans or felt dissatisfied with myself, it pushed me to return to “zero” and start over. Even though there had clearly been progress compared to doing nothing at all, I would tear everything down and treat it as though it had never happened simply because I had not done it perfectly. For those who believe they must achieve a full “1” every day, an effort of “0.3” does not count as effort. This is true even though those small actions accumulate and ultimately create change. The time I had spent building things up disappeared, as futile as sand slipping through my fingers.

One day, after stumbling so many times, I asked myself, “When I pushed myself relentlessly toward a goal, did I truly gain what I wanted? And even if I did, was I happy throughout the journey toward that goal?” I could not answer yes. Instead, another question emerged: “What exactly was I running toward while torturing myself so much?”

Goals are ultimately set in pursuit of a happy life. But if every moment of effort feels painful and overwhelming, why am I so fixated on goals and trapped by perfectionism if I continue to give up and rebuild over and over again? In truth, life would be much easier if I set no goals at all and simply drifted wherever life carried me. I could spend each day pursuing pleasure and enjoyment and feel satisfied with that alone. Even so, why do I continue to set goals and strive for them?

I began reexamining the very essence and reason behind setting goals. Ultimately, the answer was clear: a better life and a happier life. All this time, in pursuit of a fleeting achievement that might come someday, I had been filling countless hours of my life with self-criticism and disappointment.

Most of life exists within the process. Most of the time spent achieving a goal lies in the journey itself, and that journey is my time and my life. So I decided to change the way I approached the process. If I wanted the happy life I envisioned, then the process—which occupies so much of my time—needed to be happy as well. I stopped using methods that relied on self-punishment and instead began learning how to respect my feelings and love myself.

The first thing I did was let go of my impatience and slow down. No matter how urgent something seemed, I could not obtain what I wanted any faster. I respected my physical condition and daily rhythm, and searched for ways to make everything more enjoyable. Some days I accomplished a full “1,” and on other days only “0.3.” That was fine. As long as I did not give up, there would also be days when I achieved “2.” I stopped setting overly ambitious goals from the start because I realized that setting appropriate goals is itself a way of respecting myself. I also learned to do tasks ahead of time instead of procrastinating. I refused to let unnecessary anxiety consume me. And occasionally, I gave myself rest. By tightening the loose screws caused by exhaustion, I helped myself continue running steadily and for the long term.

These new internal rules helped me continue moving steadily toward my goals. They were not based on self-punishment, but on understanding and caring for myself as I worked through the process. Because I cared for and loved myself along the way, I could keep moving forward. These uninterrupted steps are what consistency truly looks like. Once you understand that the journey toward your goal should be happy as well—that this is a way of loving your own life—perfectionism no longer interferes with your progress.

There was a time when I was afraid of consistency. Now, however, consistency is something I feel confident about. Anyone who has the desire to understand and care for themselves can become consistent. You need not be perfect every day. You need not accomplish the same amount every day. Some days, simply resting is perfectly acceptable. All you need to do is remind yourself of that truth. When you understand that the path toward your goal deserves to be joyful, and that embracing such joy is a way of loving your life, perfectionism no longer stands in the way of moving forward.

Ultimately, the reason we set goals is to create a better life. But what does a better life mean for an individual? Perhaps it means feeling that the precious time given to us—our life itself—is a happy one. If that is true, then the process that occupies so much of our time deserves to be happy as well. The journey can be enjoyable. Ask yourself, “How can I make this process more enjoyable?” and “How can I become happier while doing it?” Reflect on those questions sincerely. Then you will be able to keep moving forward steadily, without stumbling over obstacles. And one day, you will find yourself arriving at the very goal you have long envisioned—without suffering along the way.